Flitting Part Two: The Tours

For legal reasons, we won’t be posting any snaps of the homes viewed or any specifics about them. There’s also the weirdo factor to consider. Not you, dear reader, I’m sure you’re fine but that stranger reading this over your shoulder could be a problem. Made you look.

Monday

Weirdly, our route took us across two other states before returning to the Empire State a few hours up the road. Once we got past New Jersey the drive was quite pleasant. The roads were largely clear and the scenery was picturesque, bar the odd Trump flag. It was weird enough to put that stuff up during the election, now in March 2021, it’s beyond sad.

The temperature steadily dropped the further north we went and by the time we got to our first hotel, it was snowing heavily. The last few miles were a crawl through the fog and snow. We’re not in Kansas anymore Toto.

It wasn’t that late but the first town center we arrived at was all but deserted. The snow was piling up and I immediately cursed my poor choice of footwear. My first post-move purchase will be a decent pair of boots. We checked in and went for a wee donder (more Scots but I think this one is pretty self-explanatory) before I had to give up once the feeling left my toes. The next day we saw a couple of locals in T-shirts. I used to think I was quite resistant to the cold. I now know better.

Tuesday

Our first realtor was a tiny pocket of energy who took us around half a dozen homes over the day. Our very first house was a cape cod in a pretty nice neighborhood. A good start but not the one. The second was a ranch out in the sticks and priced accordingly, we had to make an immediate decision about a bid. We declined though it was pretty nice.

The third was one of my executive choices and it turned out to be a good one. I’m sure everyone reading this had at some point toured a home that looked way better in the pictures. This was the rare occasion where the home, which looked lovely in the snaps, turned out to be even nicer in person. On the way to the house, Levy repeatedly commented “cuuuute” at the surrounding neighborhood. It was one of the smallest houses on the block and we kinda liked that about it, it was almost like we were cheating by considering an affordable home in such a nice area.

Levy was smitten while I reminded her we had other places to check out but I was also feeling it. In the very last of the half-dozen houses, the day ended on a really weird note. Just as we were leaving the home, one of the neighbors arrived. She was sixty-odd and told us to make sure we closed the outer door properly because if we didn’t it would bang at night and bother her dogs. That’s the brief version of an uncomfortably long interaction. As soon as she trudged off in the snow, I immediately said to the realtor, “cross this one off the list.”

She laughed but I wasn’t joking.

At the end of the day’s tours, we were told that if we wanted no.3 we had to bid that day. It had been on the market for less than a week and there were three other bids. Yikes. We came up with a figure we were comfortable with and made the offer. We didn’t expect anything of it but figured it was worth the try.

By the time we got back to the hotel that evening, Levy collapsed into the bed utterly exhausted. I honestly don’t know how realtors do that all day, we were totally spent. I ventured out in the darkness on foot to seek something for dinner. That’s when I got the call that our bid had been accepted. Wait, you’re not actually supposed to win your first and only bid on a house, right?

We had another day’s touring to get through but now had a big list of things to do we’d never even thought about before. The first was to hire an attorney. Property sales in NY require both parties to have legal representation. I reached out to three lawyers at the end of the day and two responded within the hour. One arranged a call the next morning, the other called me at 9 pm to seal the deal. They do not mess around.

Wednesday

We drove to the next county and began our tour in a town called Chili. No, it’s not pronounced the way you read it in your head. It’s more like a type of tea telling a fib. Chai-lie. We didn't make an offer on the place but gained too much amusement at the town’s pronunciation.

Later in Wegman’s (a chain upstaters all rave about) we were incredibly obnoxiously making jokes about Chili.

Levy: Hey look at the chai-lies

Me: Is that song by the Red Hot Chai-lie Peppers?

Levy: It sure is chai-lie in here

Yeah, we’re pretty annoying. Locals pushed their carts around us and probably cursed our existence under their masks. We bought some lunch and then completed the day’s tour. There were quite a few decent options but nothing to dissuade us from the home we’d bid on. On the way back we stopped at a coffee shop and Levy ordered a mocha latte with oat milk at the drive-through. She was excited and I told her much I loved her.

Levy: (laughs) What prompted that?

Me: You really know how to make a guy feel less white.

That prompted a full-on Levy cackle.

Thursday

We were initially supposed to drive back down on Thursday but we needed to get through another step before we made the long journey back. The inspection of the property. It was complicated by the fact we currently stay so far from our new home so we decided to see if we could find someone to do the inspection on Friday and stay one more night.

Like the attorney scramble from Tuesday night, the competition among the home inspectors was fierce. I made half a dozen calls over the course of half an hour. The funny thing is I used to absolutely hate talking on the phone and would go to great lengths to avoid it. Now I just get on with it. My favorite interaction was with a woman named Annie who did not waste a single word.

Me: Hi, I’m looking for a quote on a housing inspection.

Annie: Where is it?

Me: (town)

Annie: How big is it?

Me: (size)

Annie: That’ll be (cost). I can do it (day next week). Call me back if you want to move forward.

The entire call took about 20 seconds and I would have liked to have rewarded her efficiency but the sixth and final call ended with an inspector agreeing to do it the next day. Phew. All that was left to do was to book another night in the town nearby.

We made an enforced error there.

Levy went with a cheap option and when we arrived we saw a car parked across two spaces with one of the windows taped up. It looked like the setting of every horror film made in the last forty years. The room, which looked okay in the online photos, was freezing and I really didn’t want to touch anything. We decided to look around the town and kill some time before having to go back. Levy found a crystal shop and scored a nice haul for future creations.

We wandered around another Wegman’s (does that make us upstate New Yorkers yet?) and determined that we’d made a terrible mistake with the cheap hotel. We decided to write that place off and book somewhere we’d actually be able to sleep in. It was aggravating to have to waste the money but as soon as we arrived at the next place, we knew we’d made the right choice. Lesson learned. Never cheap out on hotels again.

The final day of the trip turned out to be rather eventful, the return journey involved a strange detour.

Levy speaking: We took a nice little walk in the downtown area of our future town, and I remember seeing thie sign that says "Love Lola." In my language, Tagalog, Lola means grandmother. I took it as a sign. Well, obviously becuase it's a literal sign. My grandmother passed when I was in college, but she took care of me when I was younger. She's the main reason I speak Tagalog. I often feel her with me, and I felt like she was encouraging this decision. When you know, you know. And you get signs of affirmation.